Owners Manual?

If you think about it, everything comes with an owners manual. A reference book to refer to when questions arise as to how something is to be used. The pages are marked clearly so that if the user is a complete idiot, they can still manage to understand the information they seek to find.

Table of Contents. Glossary. Index. These are all useful tools added to the owners manual for easy access to info.

Cars have them. What kind of oil should I use? Look it up. Where is the dang windshield wiper fluid reservoir? Look it up. How do I set the time on the radio? Look it up.

Gas grills have them too. Where do I hook up the propane tank? Page 15. How hot does this thing get? Page 27. Did you know that spiders are a natural hazard for grills? Their nests can block the flow of gas. Didn't know that until I read the Owners Manual! Interesting.

Cameras, washing machines, light fixtures, computers, furniture, microwave ovens, waffle irons...and the list goes on. Even artificial eyelashes and hair dye have little instruction packets to help us know how to use these darn things.

So there you have it. Everywhere you look, there is material instructing us how to do something.

EXCEPT...for one thing.

I have looked and looked for a manual to flip through in an effort to get my kids to function properly. With 4 of them, it was only a matter of time before one would malfunction at some point. I don't know what happened in the packaging and shipping, but someone somewhere didn't include the owners manual for these things.

(I didn't notice at first when I brought them home. They seemed to be working fine. I thought to myself, "Oh I won't need a manual, I know how to work these things".)

I think I can hear my mother chuckling right about now...

Sure, there are generic forms of a so-called "manual", but I can never find the one for the exact make and model of the kids I have. For instance, I have a red '96 Sassy and have yet to locate the instruction manual for her. I've seen manuals for a wide range of models, but they don't seem to quite fit the make I have. The same is true for my brown '97 Monster, my yellow '99 Missy and my red '01 Mamma's Boy.

I'm beginning to think that I'm on my own here with trying to figure out the maintenance for these things. I've learned that in order for any of these products to run smoothly I must change their oil often, wash and wax regularly, and watch the mileage. If the mileage gets to high, I have to put them in the garage for the night so the engine can cool down. Speaking of cooling down, I've noticed that my '96 Sassy and my '97 Monster have been overheating quite often, and strangely enough, at the same time. It's weird. When that happens, I just park them in their carports for 30 minutes or so. That seems to help.

The '01 Mamma's Boy has been leaking a bit, not oil but salt water, and it seems to only happen later in the day when I'm making dinner. Cant quite figure that out, especially when right after I give him a tune up, he stops. Weird too.

Needless to say. With all the instruction manuals out there for seemingly silly things, you'd think that SOMEONE would write a book about how to raise kids! My kids. With all their differences and personalities, I think I've concluded that I'm going to have write my own books and keep them handy for quick access.

Top "Kiss" Picks

Tax Season

It's that time of year!

In our hands, we gather all the important documents needed to file the necessary paperwork in our efforts to "square-up" with the government. Or in some cases, have the government "square-up" with us. We may even wait eagerly by the mailbox for our w-2's, so 2008 can quickly be filed away and shoved under the rug.

The info is calculated, the numbers added and subtracted, and in the end there is a final digit. The only question is, will it be red or black? This is the part where we all hold our breath as the final calculations are completed. We hit the enter button with our eyes tightly shut, because for one more second we are ignorant.

Do I owe or am I gettin' back some green?

As we slowly peek through our eyelids, the gasp for air is the same regardless of the outcome. There it is. The number that will be changing the next few months of our lives. We'll either be saving to pay the debt owed, or we'll be making out list of bills that have been put on the back-burner. Hopefully when all is said and done, there will be enough left over for a few splurges.

Either way, it must be done.

And so, another season begins. Tax Season.

Playing Catch-Up

Have you ever experienced the game of Catch-up? Not to be confused with the game of Playing Catch...you know, the leisurely game of throwing a ball back and forth in your front lawn on a sunny Spring day. No, this is not that game.

Playing Catch-Up is often so fittingly referred to the game of life. We do it every day. We catch-up on sleep, time, laundry, dishes, reading, TV, homework, bills, with friends...etc. It seems to be a struggle we all face as we try to catch-up on all the things we didn't have time to do in a 24-hour period.

Do we ever think about catching-up on relaxing and taking a breather? It can be one of the hardest things to accomplish. How exactly is this done in the real world when time doesn't stop for anything?

I don't have the answer for that one, however, if I had my choice, I would rather head out with a couple of gloves and a baseball and enjoy catching-up on not catching-up. The dishes can wait. So can the laundry. Even the bills can sit on my desk for another hour as I take a moment to remember the more important things in life. I can worry about all that other stuff later when I kick off my shoes and throw the ball and mitts in the closet.

But for now, the only thing I'm gonna do, is Play Catch.

Where Do You Draw The Line?

Imagine this...you move to a new apartment and just as you're settling in, there's a knock at the door. A young mother is standing there with a baby on her hip and two little ones in tow. She's the neighbor upstairs and needs to use the phone.

No problem.

Come to find out, she's a single mom with no car, no drivers license, no job, no schooling, no money, and no family. The father of her children went out for groceries two nights ago with her EBT card (food stamps and cash assistance) and never came back. (Come to find out, he withdrew $80 cash from the card and ultimately stole from his children's mouths.) The baby is out of formula, diapers and wipes. The diaper he's in now is soaked and stinky. Tears start to well up in your eyes as you image your life in this mothers shoes. No way to get to the store and no money to get what she needs.

She can't find her boyfriend and doesn't know what to do. Your first thought? Jump in the car and buy the necessities for the mother and children you just met. You spend your own money...it's no problem, you want to help. You feel so good at the end of the day that you helped someone in need, and you sleep like a baby that night.

However, the weeks and months follow with daily inquiries for help.

"Can you take me to the store?"

"Will you pick up a package of pampers? Here's $2."

"Can you watch the baby?"

"I don't have any money, will you buy me this and that?"

Then the requests start to become tiresome and unimaginably frequent. In fact, it's becoming such a habit that you begin to feel taken advantage of. Every time the phone rings or there's a knock at the door, you cringe.

After awhile, simple errands that you run for your own personal reasons become the business of this neighbor. You bring home a snack from McDonald's and she asks where hers is, making you feel guilty for not bringing her any. Then she tries to make you feel bad because you have a husband that provides for you and your family, that you have a car and she doesn't, and that you are in college bettering yourself with education.

Then she learns she's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is. There's many complications with the first trimester of her pregnancy and you find yourself calling 911 several times on her behalf. You care for her children while she's in the hospital, even when you feel it's her families responsibility to step in.

The father of her children eventually shows up after spending time in jail. He seems nice and all, but you can't get out of your mind what he did to her the first time you met her. You wonder how she could allow him back into her home. Then the fighting begins. There's yelling and crying at all hours and bumping around. Then one day she comes to the door with a bloody nose. You do what you can to help. But now it's becoming ridiculous.

After all of this, you find out that this neighbor is speaking ill of you behind your back. She starts to give you the cold shoulder and begins to behave rudely towards your children. Her mom took one look at you, and with her impeccable judge of character, pegs you as a troublemaker.

WHAT???

Now she doesn't speak to you at all. Never thanks you for your help. Never offers to pay you back for all the money you spent on them...which you later add up and realize the total is close to $100.

Can you feel it? Can you feel the injustice of being taken advantage of by someone who preyed on your vulnerability to help those in need? Do you shake your head as you try to wonder how someone can treat a person in such a way?

This has been my life for the past 6 months, and although I don't miss running all over for her, I do feel that I was wronged to be treated so poorly. It makes me wonder about the humanity in this world we live in, where someone can be so disrespectful toward an individual who does nothing but make life easier for them.

I still am at a loss for words when I think about how much I did for this poor, single, pregnant mom and how she felt it was owed to her. Now that she doesn't need me anymore, she's moved on to another tenant in the complex for all her needs.

The question I still have is, "Where do you draw a line?" Helping others in need is important, but when do you say "NO" when it becomes too much?

I don't know. I just don't know.

A New Year

Every year it's the same. January 1st rolls around, and most of us are thinking of all the things we should change in our lives. The pen and paper come out, and the goal-setting begins. As one embarks on the long list of dreams they would like to achieve for the upcoming year, the scratching of the pencil becomes a furious race to encompass all the new resolutions one finds in front of them.

The question is always the same...What can I do different this year?...and the answers seem to be shockingly similar to the last time those words entered our minds. The yellow legal pad is lined with all the same old, good intended, half-realistic goals that we never seem to accomplish. Such as, loosing weight, kicking the cancer-stick habit and being kinder to others. The truth is, as much as we want these things for ourselves, let's face it, when week 3 of 2009 approaches, we will be right back to our old ways; eating bagels with cream cheese, lighting up, and flipping the bird to the stupid motorist cutting you off.

Really people! What can we REALLY do to make our life better and more fulfilling? Instead of asking what we can do different, how about we search deep inside ourselves and ask the tough question. What do I need to change? Doing something different is easy for awhile, but making a real change is much more difficult. It isn't easy looking at ourselves and admitting that we need to take action or we will never be truly happy.

It's impossible to make such a change without one vital element though. Belief. We have to believe in ourselves, and know that we can do what it takes to make ourselves, and everyone around us, happy.

Is there really such a thing? Happiness?

Yes.

Have I found it? Not really. I say this because I know there are things in my life that I should change. I know I can be a better mother and wife. I know that if I want to get healthy, I can. I know these things because I believe that I can make them happen if I truly want to. Fate is in my hands this year, and I choose to make the changes necessary to be more successful in my relationships, career and interactions with my fellow man. Sure, it's true that when I begin my list of new years resolutions, I will have "loosing weight" and "treating others kinder" (among others) at the top of my list. However, I will also have noted beside those entries all of the different ways I can accomplish these goals of mine.

2009 can be a great year if we believe we can make a difference in our lives, and in doing so, we may just make it easier for "John the crazy driver" or "Sally the rude cashier" to achieve the things they expect out of themselves.

So, as the new year approaches, lets not bypass the whole, corny "New Years Resolution" tradition, and loose the chance to do something great for ourselves. Let's embrace the opportunity to look long and hard in the mirror at ourselves. Sure, as you gaze at your reflection, there may be a few more wrinkles and pounds staring back at you. That's okay. Give yourself a wink, and make a secret pack with the image before you, to move on to bigger, better and greater things. Just believe in yourself, and you will.

34 on the 25th

Another year older? Yes.

Another year wiser? Maybe.

Another year to be happy, healthy and alive? Priceless!