Friday, October 23, 2009

Blogger Etiquette

There are many reasons as to why a person creates a blog. Some use this forum as a way of updating friends and family from far away about the happenings and goings-on in their lives. Some use it as a way of sharing their experiences of loss and heartache. Some blog so they can feel like they are not alone in this world that makes no sense sometimes. Some share their experiences as a way of healing and grieving, and some to help others save a few pennies and live frugally. I've read blogs about religion, science, and all manner of different topics, all of which are unique in their own right.

Regardless of the reasons why we blog, the time and effort put into making the blog our own personal space is sacred to us. Picking out the background, pictures, and messages are an important part of creating a place for us to share our personality with those who read our posts. We bare our souls to the cyber-world and, to some degree, demand respect from those who read our carefully articulated words.

As much as I know this about myself when I created this blog, I lost sight one time of just how special this little corner of the internet is to those, like me, who section it off for our personal use. You see, I left a comment on a strangers blog that, I'm sure, wasn't received in a positive manner. I left my message anonymously, because I was too chicken to put my name next to my opinionated words. I was a coward. It wasn't until my sister-in-law was violated in a similar fashion on her blog, that I truly realized my error. I too, was appalled at the person leaving an unsolicited comment where it wasn't wanted or even appreciated. It was only then that I realized the gravity of my insensitive comment, on a blog I had no business sharing my opinion on.

I love comments, and sometimes I anxiously wait to see what people may think about what I've written. Of course, I never intend on reading something negative attached to a column I put so much effort into sharing. I can only imagine the disappointment someone else may feel as they turn on their computer, click on their own blog, and find something undesirable in the comment box.

I'm sorry.

I've learned that although I may feel a specific way about something someone else wrote, there is a certain etiquette in the blogging world, and I have no right leaving an unpleasant comment on a strangers personal blog, because in doing so, I am disregarding the feelings of someone else.

Monday, October 12, 2009


For your viewing pleasure----> Colby and me making funny fish-faces!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Going Out on a Limb

I have always freely admitted that I don't have all the answers, and that I'm willing to hear and learn another persons perspective. I always try to choose my words wisely when expressing my point of view, so as to not offend someone else for their feelings. I make a tremendous effort to communicate and present myself in a way that won't come off narcissistic or accusatory, because to me, respectful communication is key to expressing oneself clearly. How else can a person know how you feel if you don't tell them? However, this doesn't change the fact that I sometimes say things that offend other people, and not because I was rude or insensitive, but because no matter how I present myself, the one receiving my words will take offense regardless of my efforts.

The questions I have are these:

--Do you stop communicating about things that may be uncomfortable just because it may make someone else upset?

--Do you refrain from explaining yourself due to fear that the reaction you may get will be unpleasant?

--Do you allow others to treat you in a way that you wish not to be treated just because you know that if you tell them that you don't like it, they will get mad at you, even though their anger isn't about what you said, but the fact that they don't want to admit that they need to change?

--Or do you go out on a limb, and respectfully say what you need to say for the sake of gaining a stronger, more connected, bond between someone you care about and love, hoping that they will put aside their pride and hear you because they feel the same way about you?

These are questions that I've been asking myself for the last few months. I'm sure the monotony of reading the many posts from this blog that share the same tone is getting old. It's helpful to me to express myself constructively, and to organize the thoughts bouncing around in my head, and this is the reason for the reoccurring theme. I'm sure, with time, my thoughts will be turned to other topics of interest worthy of this blog, but for now, I shall work it all out until I can't work it anymore...or until I come to realize that I can't force someone to react rationally, no matter how hard I try to present myself with the greatest of respect.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Bridging the Gap

Bittenbender's Covered Bridge
Built by Frank Monroe in 1888
Located in Huntington, PA

If you think about it, a bridge is a beautiful thing. It allows for a person to reach their desired destination without having to walk for miles searching for a better, more convenient way to cross.

...A bridge built properly, with a sturdy structure and foundation, can stand the tests of time, through all manner of inclimate weather.

...A bridge can be the link between two pieces of breathtaking countryside, allowing for the ease of travel on a beautiful Sunday drive.

...A bridge can bear the weight of many thousands of pounds, and an extreme amount of pressure.

...If constructed correctly, a bridge can bend and physically expand and contract for the varying temperature and seasonal changes.

Without years of proper care and maintenance, the structure could collapse and become unrepairable, which could result in extensive and expensive repairs or rebuilding. A broken bridge cannot be fixed without the desire, proper know-how and tools to effectively repair the areas in need of drastic attention.

Bridges can be like relationships/friendships...

A strong relationship/friendship, if built on a solid foundation, given the proper care, and valued for its beauty and function, can last many years without caving in around itself. If not, before you know it, you could be standing in a pile of rubble wondering where things went wrong in the construction process. The thing of it is, even when you're standing among boulders of cement, wooden beams and re-bar, a relationship
can be rebuilt--it may take a lot of work and a lot of years--but it can be done. It is possible to re-build from the ground up with the proper maintenance and attention...

...if the desire is there.

If not, the only option is to clear away the rubble, plant flowers along the riverbed, and stock the stream with beautiful and exotic fish. If there's no salvaging the bridge, then the space where it once stood needs to be filled with something else. It's a shame because, the connection between the two banks will be lost, and without some sort of structure to bridge the gap, the opposite sides will remain apart.

Hopefully one of the broken bridges in my life can be repaired. If not, I've peacefully come to the conclusion that the place where my bridge once stood, will now be filled with the things I can control--I will happily plant beautiful wildflowers and vegetation. I will visit this spot and dream about building another bridge in it's place, and I won't be sad about the one that was torn down in spite of my efforts.