Saturday, April 17, 2010


Just in case anyone is wondering where I've been these last few months...I've just been doing a little light reading.  No worries, I'm still alive, barely.  One of these days I'll pick blogging back up...for now, I have to go look up the term hyperbetalipoproteinemia.  Wish me luck!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I Feel Like the Rabbit From Alice in Wonderland

No time for this, no time for that, no time to wait, no time to loose....I'm late, I'm late, I'M LATE.  (No, for all you who are reading WAY too much into the "I'm Late" bit...I'm not pregnant.!)  It's just so difficult these days to find time to do anything...I'm so busy with nursing school that I don't have any extra minutes to spare in the short 24 hours allotted in a day.  If I'm not in class, I'm studying.  If I'm not studying, I'm thinking about all the studying I need to be doing.  Bless my dear husbands heart...he has been left standing solo where chores and meals are concerned, as I run around like a frantic crazy woman.  I will say this, I can always count on him to pick up the pieces where I fall short as I attempt to do what I can.  Sometimes that's nothing at all.  "Mr. Mom"???...yes indeed.  He does it all.

When I think about all that is being sacrificed for the sake of my education, I never have to wonder if it's all worth it.  I never have to consider quitting or taking a break.  I never have to think if what I'm doing is the right thing, because the support I have from JB and my family is overwhelming.  I feel so fortunate to be in this position in my life where going to school is an option, and I feel comforted knowing that although I feel like my time is limited, the love shown to me is limitless, and my husbands support is unwavering.

...And although I feel like the little rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, JB keeps me grounded enough to know when it's time to stop spinning...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Why Nursing?

For the past 2 years I've devoted my life to being a student with the ultimate goal of getting into the RN program and becoming a nurse. To have accomplished my goal of entering the program was a huge relief to me because my grades depended on it. Now that I'm in the program and have completed my first week, I have felt exhaustion that I haven't experienced in a long time. To say I am overwhelmed is a gross understatement!

In one of my courses, we were assigned the task of writing down our reasons for wanting to become a nurse. As I pondered on what to say, I was discouraged at the thought that I may have forgotten why I choose this profession in the first place. I soon realized that I hadn’t forgotten, I just thought my reasons were silly and not reasonable enough to choose such a demanding profession. Why? Why would I decide to put myself through such a grueling education?

This is why.

Although I have been a very healthy person all my life, and haven't spent much time in the hospital, my experiences giving birth to four children was enough for me to want to make a difference in other peoples lives. And now that I'm in school and only a week into the program, I have confirmed, without a doubt, that this is where I am meant to be.

With my first 2 pregnancies, I had labor and delivery nurses that I felt, even at the time but more so now, were not meeting my needs and who treated me like a room number and not a person or a patient. My thoughts and feelings and concerns about giving birth were squashed, and therefore I didn't feel confident enough to ask for the things I needed, or even ask questions that I thought were silly. With Shelby my admitting nurse negated the pain I felt with each contraction I experienced, and since pain is subjective to the patient, a professional should never make them feel as though they are a baby for feeling it. That's how I felt, and that's why I didn't speak up when my epidural failed to relieve my pain, resulting in a physically and emotionally painful experience. (24 hours to be exact).

I felt similarly when I was in labor with Corban. Although the pain was not an issue that time (because my doctor went with a different option for pain relief), I felt as though I wasn't being heard when I insisted that my baby was coming, especially after only dilating to a 4 the last time the nurse checked me 30 minutes earlier. Instead of setting my mind at ease by doing another check, she made me feel like I didn't know what I was talking about, and that I was inconveniencing her. After I insisted that she check me, she did so and not-so-calmly told me that I was dilated to a 10 and hastily ran out the door to call the doctor. My baby was, in fact, coming and without me speaking up I would have given birth in a hospital by myself.

In contrast, my deliveries with Sabrina and Colby were very different than the previous two. My nurses held my hand, patted my arm, asked how I was doing with the pain, asked what they could do to make my stay more comfortable...and this made all the difference in the world. I felt a sense of ease and safety from my caregivers and the staff, which in turn, resulted in a more positive experience for me. I was amazed at how differently I was treated and cared for.

That was the moment when I knew that I wanted to be a nurse.  I can't say that I will change anyones life dramatically by being a nurse, but even if I merely care for someone in a manner in which they expect to be cared for, I have been successful.