Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving!

The day when family and friends gather around a lavish spread of turkey, stuffing, yams, greens, pies and cobblers. This is the day when loved ones congregate to stuff themselves with good food and even better company. But more importantly, it's the day we give thanks. I, for one, have much to give thanks for.

My health, children, husband, shelter, warmth, running vehicles...

Chocolate.

Although these examples are sufficient of the many ways I feel I am fortunate, I have one thing that I am the most grateful for...

My marriage.

This December Jedbot and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary. An anniversary that we, as a couple, almost didn't make it to.

Life is hard.

Marriage is even harder.

Many months were spent questioning the strength of our union, and we faced struggles that seemed too difficult to endure. We DID endure! We made it through all of the messes we made and came together stronger than ever.

This past year is one that I NEVER want to experience again. And although I say that now, I KNOW that it was crucial to the success of our marriage.

I love my husband. I love him, I love him, I love him.

So this year, as Thanksgiving approaches and I am reminded of all the wonderful things I am fortunate to have, the one gift I will cling tightly to, is the love I have for the man by my side.

$1.75 - Is This For Real?

It was only a few short months ago, that I pulled up to the gas pump, dispensed a full tank of gasoline, and about had a heart attack when I realized that I had just spent
$103.00!!!

That's right!

25 gallons x $4.12 = $103.00!!! (I was really pushing it that day...my car only holds 26 gallons!)

What is this world coming to? I was shocked! It was becoming so difficult to keep the tank full. I mean, who wants to spend that kind of money on gas?...

Remember the days when you could scrounge up a few dollars by collecting change from under the seat or in the ash tray, and just a few bucks would get you like 3 gallons?...Let's see, 3 gallons at 2o miles to the gallon would get me 60 miles...that would take me up and down Main Street... like 27 TIMES! When JB was in California for Basic Training, back in 1999, gas was only $ .77!

okay that was a tangent...focus! Where was I? Oh yea...

I was reduced to only putting in a few gallons at a time, and limiting my travel to a 5 mile radius from my home. It was becoming ridiculous!

Scoping gas prices around town had become a daily ritual. Each time I was out, I'd check to see if gas had gone up or down...I even began breathing a sigh of relief when the prices hadn't changed at all. I figured no fluctuation in price was better than it growing more expensive. The kids even started scouting for good deals, too!

Then it finally happened! The prices started to dip lower and lower, when finally, just yesterday I was able to scrounge for some change (I forgot my pocketbook) and dispense 3 gallons of gasoline, at the satisfactory price of $1.75! That's right Ladies and Gents, you heard correctly, $1.75! Ahhhhhhh! (That's the sound of relief!)

...now, if we could just get the milk prices to go down.

But...until then,
Emily.

108

What does the number 108 mean to you? The temperature outside in the middle of a scorching summer? The amount of miles left to drive before reaching your favorite vacation spot? The number of stories in a building you will never enter, let alone ride to the top floor in an elevator? How about the number of paces you must precisely step to find buried treasure?

I bet, when you thought of the number 108, you never dreamed it was the number of fat grams in a Hardees Monster Thickburger! I know, it never crossed my mind either. Can you believe it? If THAT doesn't make you sick, the amount of calories in this burger will surly do the trick! Ready for this? 1,420 Calories!! Yep, you got it! Believe me, I took a double-take myself, when I saw that astronomical number.

I was doing a little research for a Persuasive Speech in my COMM class coming up, and I thought I'd try to persuade my audience (my teacher and classmates) that fast food is bad for you. (even though it's a no-brainer). I never, in my wildest imagination, thought there was so much crap in the on-the-go convenience slop we all call 'fast food'!

I used to salivate every time a Micky D's or Wendy's commercial came on TV. Now, I feel sick to my stomach at the mere sight of a value meal! So, the next time I'm driving through town in the middle of the lunch rush, and I smell the odors of steaming french fries and fresh, made-to-order sandwiches, I'll think to myself, "108, 108, 108". Then, I'll pity all the folks waiting in the long line of cars at the drive-thru of the local Fast-Food joints, and I'll zip home to whip me up some fast food for myself...salad with romaine lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers and olives spritzed with lemon juice. Then I'll fry me up a veggie burger (in olive oil) and smother it with onions and mustard. Now THAT makes my mouth water!

Maybe then, the number 108 will mean something else to me...my weight! Ha, I know, that's funny isn't it? Never gonna happen...

...well I DO know this, it certainly won't happen eating fast food!

Art

Isn't there just something about seeing people in love? It's almost breathtaking! You wonder, "What kind of attraction could there be to cause such a vision of beauty?" The seemingly uncomplicated act of hugging and giving a kiss doesn't feel like it should be this beautiful. Maybe it's the simple appearance of embracing someone tight, and offering a smooch with a little flare, that makes the performance of these two gestures a work of art. Now, that's beauty!

Oh, lookie there. I think her leg is about to 'pop'! (That was for all you Princess Diaries fans!)

I think I'll be making a little work of art of my own tonight!

Until then,
Emily.

PB&J

Why the title Peanut-Butter and Jelly Sandwiches, you ask?

How many ways can you make a PB&J sandwich? Hundreds! This might seem like one of the easiest tasks known to man, however if you think about it, there are so many choices, varieties and combinations. Just choosing the bread alone can be tiresome! Wheat, white, whole grain, fat-free, potato (ewe, gross) and rye (even grosser)? And then, there's the peanut-butter; smooth, crunchy, extra crunchy, fat-free, organic, Jiffy, Great Value, Peter Pan...and yes, there is a difference in taste when it comes to different brands.

Now comes the many different varieties of jellies, jams, and marmalade's; grape, raspberry (seedless or red?), strawberry, peach...the list goes on and on. What about the Palanter Fruit combobulation?...that stuff makes me ill. Honey, anyone? My mom always made peanut-butter and honey sandwiches for my school lunches...yummy!

Not to mention the fact that there are those who add a different spin to the traditional making of the sandwich. Some love to add sliced bananas, chips, bacon and other various toppings. This adds spice, flavor and character to the sandwich!

The point is this: Life is like a Peanut-Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Everyone has a different perspective and opinion on what makes a good PB&J, however regardless of how you look at it, it's still a PB&J! The same it true for life. Just like a PB&J sandwich, our lives are what we make of it.

For me, I love a good PB&J on soft white bread with crunchy, Jiff peanut butter, and seedless raspberry jam. It must be sliced in half, with Doritos on the side and a tall glass of 2% milk to wash it all down.

If you think about it though, this might not be true for my fellow neighbors. They may totally dislike the way I choose to make my sandwich (or live my life), however it doesn't mean that I'm wrong in my choices. It certainly doesn't mean that they are wrong either. When we all get together to make PB&J sandwiches together...

...or in other words, pass one another on the street, stand in line at the grocery or share the open road...

...I'd like to think that I can make my sandwich my way and they make there's their way and we can all enjoy ourselves despite our differences. At least that's the way it should be. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all accept each other regardless of the way we make a PB&J sandwich? Maybe someday we will.

But, until then, I'll be making mine the way I like it!

You want to know the best part? Here's the big secret! You can always change your mind and make your sandwich different from time to time. Try new toppings or flavors, making it different ways until you get it just the way you like it! How true is that for life? So true!~

Emily.

"This I Believe"

"This I Believe: The Remarkable Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women."

A wonderful book of essays, written by everyday people, with the intent to express their beliefs. I was so intrigued by the different perceptions each author displayed as they graciously allowed the world to understand even the smallest of beliefs they hold so dear.

I thought I was going to read different perspectives on religious and political belief systems, instead I came away learning much more about humanity. For instance, why one woman believes everyone should have flowers on their grave, and another feeling that the pizza delivery guy should always be generously tipped. The reasons behind these different feelings allowed me to feel a sense of respect for my fellow man. It allowed me to believe that there IS goodness in this world filled with hate and terror.

The following excerpt is from an essay titled: "A Shared Moment of Trust" by Warren Christopher. I'm not sure why it struck me so profoundly, however it allowed me to see the truth in his words.

"One night recently, I was driving down a two-lane high-way at about sixty miles an hour. A car approached from the opposite direction, at about the same speed. As we passed each other, I caught the other driver's eye for only a second.

I wondered whether he might be thinking, as I was, how dependent we were on each other at that moment. I was relying on him not to fall asleep, not to be distracted by a cell phone conversation, not to cross over into my lane and bring my life suddenly to an end. And though we had never spoken a word to one another, he relied on me in just the same way...
...I have come to believe that there are moments when one must rely upon the good faith and judgement of others. So, while each of us faces - at one time or another - the prospect of driving alone down a dark road, what we must learn with experience is that the approaching light may not be a threat, but a shared moment of trust."

I love this book! Check it out of the library or buy it for your own collection. You won't be disappointed as you learn the different perspectives on belief! Trust me!

Until then,
Emily.

Post Script: You can click on this book on my bookshelf to learn more!

Prop 8

Although I don't live in California and didn't vote regarding Proposition 8, I do have some thoughts on the issue. I share my feelings only as a way of understanding myself and the position I may or may not have regarding this topic. The expression of my thoughts are not meant to imply that I have all the answers or that I firmly stand my ground on my side of the line, without hearing and understanding the opinions of others. I use this forum as a form of expression and not for the purposes of pointing fingers as to who is right or wrong. That being said, here are some thoughts and feelings I have regarding Prop 8.

I have wondered about what it means to be gay for quite some time. I, myself am very confident in my sexuality and gender. I know that I am straight and that I enjoy the intimate company of my husband. For others it might not be so cut and dry. For a long time I believed that men and women weren't born gay or lesbian and that it was their 'choice' to become attracted to the same sex. The more and more I research about the issue, the more I start to believe that a child may very well be born that way.

If you take, for instance, the child born with ambiguous genitalia. A parent of this newborn may not know the sex of their child (a horrible feeling, I'm sure) and ultimately be forced to choose which sexual organ to remove or keep. Do they remove the enlarged clitoris resembling a penis or sew up the small space that looks a little bit like a vagina? What ever the choice, the parents will have to decide how to raise their child...as a boy or a girl. These thoughts were on my mind during each of my pregnancies.

Children are born with ambiguous genitalia more often than we think. Therefore thrusting parents and doctors into making a choice. What if they choose wrong? How do we know, just by looking at someone, that they weren't born with this condition? During a specific developmental stage in the womb, the genitalia of the fetus develops one way or the other depending on their chromosomes. Somehow, if this process doesn't go as planned, there is no way to know for sure what the gender of the child will be.

There have been many cases of individuals being raised a certain sex and come to realize that they have hormonal tendencies opposite of the way they grew up. Imagine the young man entering puberty and instead of being attracted to females he is attracted to boys. This happens at the same time he begins to develop breasts. "He" really wasn't a "he". He was really a "she" with the chromosomes of a female. Now, if this child was raised a girl then her tendencies would be perfectly normal. However, that not being the case, "she" is now forced into the many questions one might face when determining their sexual orientation. "Am I gay or straight?"

So now, the question is: "If it's possible for a child to biologically have ambiguous genitalia, is it also possible to psychologically have ambiguousness?" Somewhere the physical development is scrambled, if you will, resulting in uncertain sex organs. Can a person during psychological development experience a similar crisscross, therefore resulting in a confusion in sexuality preference? This would cause them to prefer the company and companionship of a person of the same sex.

With all this said, I believe the G&L community should have the same rights as any other straight couple. Because it is not my business to inquiry as to "why" a person is gay. My only thought is this: what if they were in fact born this way? Who am I to say that they are a sinner (only because how can a person be a sinner if they were born with uncertain sex organs...again, this not being my place to ask if they were or weren't.) and that they don't deserve to find happiness with the person their sexual orientation guides them to?

Fortunately, I find myself in a situation where I don't have to ask these questions about myself. However, if I were born with the uncertainty of who I was, I would want to have the freedoms of any other citizen of the United States of America. There is no certain answer to this issue and regardless of how the laws change or stay the same, not everyone will agree. Times are changing though, and one can never be sure about what will be 20 or 40 or even 100 years from now. However, until then, maybe gays and lesbians should be allowed happiness and afford the same rights as any other couple.

Thank you for hearing my thoughts on this issue. I would be happy to hear your thoughts also.

Until then,
Emily.