Thursday, November 13, 2008

Prop 8

Although I don't live in California and didn't vote regarding Proposition 8, I do have some thoughts on the issue. I share my feelings only as a way of understanding myself and the position I may or may not have regarding this topic. The expression of my thoughts are not meant to imply that I have all the answers or that I firmly stand my ground on my side of the line, without hearing and understanding the opinions of others. I use this forum as a form of expression and not for the purposes of pointing fingers as to who is right or wrong. That being said, here are some thoughts and feelings I have regarding Prop 8.

I have wondered about what it means to be gay for quite some time. I, myself am very confident in my sexuality and gender. I know that I am straight and that I enjoy the intimate company of my husband. For others it might not be so cut and dry. For a long time I believed that men and women weren't born gay or lesbian and that it was their 'choice' to become attracted to the same sex. The more and more I research about the issue, the more I start to believe that a child may very well be born that way.

If you take, for instance, the child born with ambiguous genitalia. A parent of this newborn may not know the sex of their child (a horrible feeling, I'm sure) and ultimately be forced to choose which sexual organ to remove or keep. Do they remove the enlarged clitoris resembling a penis or sew up the small space that looks a little bit like a vagina? What ever the choice, the parents will have to decide how to raise their a boy or a girl. These thoughts were on my mind during each of my pregnancies.

Children are born with ambiguous genitalia more often than we think. Therefore thrusting parents and doctors into making a choice. What if they choose wrong? How do we know, just by looking at someone, that they weren't born with this condition? During a specific developmental stage in the womb, the genitalia of the fetus develops one way or the other depending on their chromosomes. Somehow, if this process doesn't go as planned, there is no way to know for sure what the gender of the child will be.

There have been many cases of individuals being raised a certain sex and come to realize that they have hormonal tendencies opposite of the way they grew up. Imagine the young man entering puberty and instead of being attracted to females he is attracted to boys. This happens at the same time he begins to develop breasts. "He" really wasn't a "he". He was really a "she" with the chromosomes of a female. Now, if this child was raised a girl then her tendencies would be perfectly normal. However, that not being the case, "she" is now forced into the many questions one might face when determining their sexual orientation. "Am I gay or straight?"

So now, the question is: "If it's possible for a child to biologically have ambiguous genitalia, is it also possible to psychologically have ambiguousness?" Somewhere the physical development is scrambled, if you will, resulting in uncertain sex organs. Can a person during psychological development experience a similar crisscross, therefore resulting in a confusion in sexuality preference? This would cause them to prefer the company and companionship of a person of the same sex.

With all this said, I believe the G&L community should have the same rights as any other straight couple. Because it is not my business to inquiry as to "why" a person is gay. My only thought is this: what if they were in fact born this way? Who am I to say that they are a sinner (only because how can a person be a sinner if they were born with uncertain sex organs...again, this not being my place to ask if they were or weren't.) and that they don't deserve to find happiness with the person their sexual orientation guides them to?

Fortunately, I find myself in a situation where I don't have to ask these questions about myself. However, if I were born with the uncertainty of who I was, I would want to have the freedoms of any other citizen of the United States of America. There is no certain answer to this issue and regardless of how the laws change or stay the same, not everyone will agree. Times are changing though, and one can never be sure about what will be 20 or 40 or even 100 years from now. However, until then, maybe gays and lesbians should be allowed happiness and afford the same rights as any other couple.

Thank you for hearing my thoughts on this issue. I would be happy to hear your thoughts also.

Until then,

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